No Doritos. No locos. Just tacos. (Black Bean Taco)


Yes, I’ll be cooking black bean tacos this week! The secret ingredient that is the legume will be replacing the beef (or whatever meat) in what would be an ordinary taco. That’s right, another vegetarian meal (I’m getting kind of tired of them!).

I love tacos, but the biggest appeal of the taco (at least to me) is the meat. So, I’d better cook up some damn good beans in order to enjoy this thing. Hopefully my black heart will be able to accept these black beans as a substitute. Please look forward to it!


Week 3: Mushroom


Hey Everyone!

I see that Eric did not post a video for the eggplant challenge (Lame, am I right?) Just kidding, as I haven’t posted ANYTHING. I know, and I apologize. I actually want to thank Eric for an amazing job in keeping everyone informed of our unfortunate, current life obstacle (some strange institution called school), and for actually keeping up with the promised cooking schedule. I’ll be sure to post everything (videos, included) once I have more time, and Ryan will do the same.

ANYWAY, no more excuses and explanations. This week’s secret ingredient: MUSHROOM. That’s right, every Californian has experience with ‘shrooms, and we wish to embrace the culture this week… legally. So, join us on this magical journey, as we try to add our fungi friends to our culinary repertoire.

Adventures in Market (Eggplant Stir-fry)

I didn’t know eggplants could get so ginormous. The original recipe called for four Asian eggplants, but holy crap, I could barely even fit one through my door. So I only used one…

Here’s the ingredients:

  • 1 Asian eggplant
  • 2 teaspoons of salt
  • 1 tablespoon of oyster sauce
  • 1 teaspoon of sugar
  • 1 teaspoon of sesame oil
  • 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil
  • 2 teaspoons of minced garlic
  • 1 tomatillo pepper

Actually there were also supposed to be two peppers, but I cut that down to just one.

Let me tell you, it was pretty awkward shopping at Sprouts the other day. I felt like everyone was staring at me, judging me with their veteran eyes. They all seemed so experienced in the art of grabbing-vegetables-and-getting-the-hell-out. Meanwhile I was standing there, looking dumbfounded, not knowing what in the world to get.

Here’s a story for you. I saw a small tub of pre-cut garlic for five bucks. “Eh, I don’t really need that much, but I don’t see garlic anywhere else.” So I took it. Of course, two minutes later, I found a pack of five cloves for four bucks. Awesome. Dropped the tub and gathered the cloves. THEN, I spied on the other side a bunch of individual cloves. Couple bucks. Great. Dropped the bushel (is that the right counter?) cloves and grabbed the single piece of garlic. Fast forward five minutes. I’m in the Asian aisle and I see a jar of minced garlic. Three dollars. Worth it. Dropped the clove, picked up the jar. And that was the pointless tale of my garlic adventure.

Also, holy crap. It took me forever to find the right oils and oyster sauce. I could’ve asked for help, but my pride blocked my view of any grocery store attendants.

I’ll be posting the steps and process tonight (hopefully).

Week 2: Eggplant

Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there! Coming off of eggs, this week we’ll be dissecting the eggplant and try to make the most splendiferous dishes out of this ingredient!

Why eggplant? Well it is Mother’s Day, and we all came from the seeds planted in our respective mother’s egg. Gross you out yet? Great.

The eggplant should be interesting, and hopefully nothing but good things will come out of our endeavors. Before I leave, here’s an eggplant tidbit (from Wikipedia, my most favorite source of all things): the vegetable gets its name from a group of eggplants in the 18th-century that resembled eggs in color and shape.

See you throughout the week.

A Prologue to French Bastardization (French Toast)

To be fair, most of the foods I’m going to prepare will most likely be poor representations of their actual counterpart. In other words, my french toast ain’t gonna be joining any culinary U.N. anytime soon. And I’ll show you the reason soon enough. First, let’s show off our base ingredients!

Deux œuf! That’s about all I learned from my one week of learning French from Rosetta Stone. There it is. The secret ingredient: two large eggs.

And what’s french toast without the bread? I ended up using three pieces of whole wheat. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any actual French bread… Traditional, indeed!

A dash of cinnamon!

A teaspoon of sugar. A teaspoon is like a little spoon, right? Not an actual measurement? Uh-oh. Well, let’s just hope everything turns out okay. I mean, if I use too much sugar, it’ll taste sweeter, and if I use too little sugar, it’ll be a little healthier… right? Win-win? Ah geez.

Whatever-the-hell-amount of butter for greasing up the pan. And yes, it’s whipped butter because I didn’t have anything else in that ole fridge of mine.

Yeah, that’s right. I already deviated from the recipe by using whole wheat bread and by mucking up the measurements, but this is what takes the cake in terms of bastardization. I didn’t have any milk (all I had was soy)! I contemplated for what seemed like an hour on what kind of milk to get in the dairy aisle of my local Stater Bros. I wasn’t going to get a whole gallon or even a quart, since I don’t really drink the stuff. And since I’m getting such a small amount, why not chocolatize it? Yeah, this is probably a bad idea. One cup of TruMoo chocolate milk.

Well, there they are! A recipe for disaster or greatness? We’ll see soon enough.